id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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