I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
