i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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