i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
