wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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