Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He better not be in your backpack
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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