Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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