but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
