Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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