Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
