Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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