I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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