Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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