Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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