There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
