I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
