Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i've created a new STD.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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