I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
