it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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