Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
