I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
