Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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