I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
