I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
