I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Two words: blizzard sex
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
