Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
