Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
