the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
