im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
