Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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