you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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