He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize