I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
