he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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