He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
