dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
