Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize