You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
