sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
