I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize