Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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