Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
