Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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