I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
