Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
