atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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