3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
