i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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