I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
