I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So many bounce houses so little time
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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