he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
