I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
