Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just pee around me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize