my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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