It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't think brook has ever known best
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
im on a boat
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