Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
