im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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