If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
