i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
MIDGETS
????
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
