I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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