i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
